Family is forever
We always knew we wanted to adopt, but we never imagined we would have these two amazing boys with special needs come into our lives. When we are out with Nolan we often get sympathetic looks as he is in a wheelchair. I have even had people stop us to say, “God bless you for taking care of them”. I find such looks and comments hurtful because if they knew Nolan and Francis they would know that we are the ones who are blessed by having them in our lives. They do not need others to feel bad for them, for Nolan and Francis this is their normal. Nolan has always been a happy boy and he just loves life! He loves to cuddle and has this amazing ability to know when you’ve had a tough day and just need that extra bit of love. And Francis is so smart. He realizes that some people do not understand him so he figures out different ways to help them understand. And when he hugs me he likes to be cheek to cheek and would say “my soul” because I tell him his hugs are good for my soul.
The coronavirus pandemic brought a new dimension to home life. While I have always worked from home, Troy is usually gone five days a week but now he has been at home for nine months. Francis has really grown attached to Troy, he goes to find Troy from the moment he wakes up and is generally with him until he goes to bed. At times it can be challenging, but Troy has never had this much time to spend with the older kids so he has become much more connected now with what goes on at home and enjoys this time with the boys.
Our five kids have bonded each in their own way. Colton, our eldest, had just finished high school when Nolan and Francis were adopted and there was an instant connection. Riley is now 22 and teaches autistic children, so she perhaps has an even deeper connection with Francis. Jamiee was the most affected by the adoption as the older kids were soon off to college or working. She loves Nolan and Francis, and they love bugging her – like many little brothers in any typical family. Looking at us you would know Nolan and Francis are adopted, but if you knew how our family life functions you would never know that they were not always ours. Watching the five of them it is like they have always been siblings.
So what does family mean to me? The first word that comes to mind is “forever” because when you love each other you find ways to work things out. As different challenges come up, don’t overthink it, just do it. Our days are easy, caring for special needs kids is not hard to us because these are our kids, this is our family, and we will do what it takes to take care of each other, always.
